Reflection 2: Blocking and Letting Go

In this reflection, I want to talk about the inner energy and the processes of blocking and letting go. I will start by saying that I have not always been the best at letting go. Sometimes I feel things too much and then I am blocked in a circle of repetitive negative thoughts and feelings, and sometimes I cannot do anything anymore. I do not go out, I do not answer my friends, I cannot work and I cannot make food or clean. This is handicapping and it is something that can be stopped, even though it is hard.

An example of this is the cleanness of my room. If I am blocking energy with stress, anxiety or self-indulging sadness, this will clearly be reflected in the state of my room. However, the day I truly let go and decide to work for my own well-being, the first I will do is put on some happy music, preferably reggae, and clean the room until it becomes a peaceful and tidy environment again. One other thing is that I do not think that letting go would be as self-empowering if it was not preceded with periods of blocking.

Letting go is a process, that requires mindfulness, motivation and emotional processing. Now, I want to reflect on blocking and letting go in relationships. In my case, I am currently in love, but the person I love is far away from me and external factors make us unable to see each other for still another month at the least, and it already has been two months without seeing each other. This is very hard, especially considering that I am someone who thrives on affection and physical contact. It creates a lot of frustration and sometimes I feel the need to block it all. To stop feeling so much.

But it is destructive, because it does not change anything to the facts and blocking only creates fights and sadness. And pride. I think letting go is a gift we are making to ourselves. It is saying: yes, this is what I feel and it is strong and it is alright and it is beautiful that I have the opportunity to feel these things and I am not weak because of it. And it is also saying to yourself: I trust you with that, you are going to be fine and you are gonna be happy. Letting go is hard, but not letting go is a trap.

What I wish to implement now in my relationship and in my life, is to let go from the fears that something will go wrong, and to live fully what I have in the present moment, because that is all we are sure of eventually. I think doing so is the only way to deal with distance, through finding excitement in my daily life and interactions, instead of putting all of this pressure on this relationship and its future.